Just be

Category: energywork

  • Morocco

    Morocco

    August 1st, 2022 

    I departed Japan 24 hours ago. 

    The place my life really began. Hard to believe that 4 years ago I had never left America and now I am 2 hours out from landing in Casablanca, Morocco. 

    2 hours out from my new home.

    2 hours out from my next chapter.

    A FEW Japan chapter take aways:

    I can do anything-move to a new country by myself, start a new job and succeed, make new friends with language barriers, bungee jump, sky dive, ocean dive, and brighten the world while brightening my own life.

    The airplane is small. Hard to get out and go to the bathroom. I don’t remember airplanes being this small. I haven’t flown on a full flight in 3 years, since COVID began. 

    Our layover was in Dubai. 

    My dad will have traveled the globe by the time he gets back to Washington. How bad ass is that. 2 one way tickets, 3 weeks and 4 countries/ FOUR CONTINENTS. I think that is amazing.

    The next chapter is beginning. 

    *Trust the process. Keep safe in doing so. Be smart and be strong.

    August 25th, 2022

    New continent, new adventure-same girl and same bike!

    I had a sweet ending to my time in Japan. Time with people that I adore and admire. I am now 24 days into my time in Morocco.

    It’ll be fun to go back and see how my first weeks in Japan were-that is when and why I began this blog!

    Getting off of the airplane in Casablanca, my knees were shaking, I was really nervous. I was more than nervous, I was terrified. Hard to believe that I did that by MYSELF when I moved to Japan. This time my dad was with me :]

    Driving to Tangier I saw: horses and mules, pulling wagons (SAY WHAT?!). Earlier that week my dad was talking about how his grandparents used horses to do the farm work-then I was seeing that with my very own eyes!

    Wagons for transportation- another shocker.

    The car ride was hot-AC is not as popular here as it is in the places I have lived. Airport to home was about 5 hours and after an 18 hour flight commute we were exhausted. Walking into the apartment I was happily surprised by the size and condition. The apartments here are BEAUTIFUL. Tile floors and giant rooms.

    No AC so windows are open all the time. For sleeping I have to decide if I want to have a hot room or a quiet room. The night life here is unlike anything I have ever experienced. The city seems to come to life around 8 or 9 and continue until the morning hours.

    September 10th, 2022

    I am now 1 month and 9 days into my journey here. The way I feel today is completely different than how I felt the day I arrived at the airport.

    The day I got here I was ready to leave. I wouldn’t have written that before today or told anybody because I knew I hadn’t given Morocco a chance. I hadn’t given myself a chance.

    I didn’t like the lack of smiles. Guess what-not everyone expresses happiness with a smile. Accepting that and learning to beam inside when necessary and outside when safe.

    I didn’t like being looked at. Now that I am around and living here, people don’t look so much.

    I was scared. Going out took a lot of energy. I was scared because I went from a place where NO one looks at you or touches you, to a place where everyone looks and personal space is everyones space. 

    I went from a quiet life to a city that comes to life at night. (It is beautiful.)

    It was a lot of adjusting. A new and different way of life.

    I appreciate the discomfort because I know that my greatest growths have come from being uncomfortable. The real changes have come from stepping outside of comfortable.

     People would ask me how I was liking Morocco and I would respond as positively as I could-It’s a lot and I look forward to the magic to be found.

    I was grasping at straws, yearning for the day I would feel safe and free. 

    I had a moment, 13 days into my time here, where I KNEW in my heart that I was going to be okay…That I was going to be more than okay, that I would thrive, grow and sparkle.  That was a big moment for me-the moment I knew this is the place for me.

    You know who was LOVING it from day one? Dad. Who knew that guy was born to be international. He is a natural at it. No fear. At least he shows no fear, in his daughter’s eyes. Something I am most thankful for is that my dad began this adventure with me.

    Tangier, Morocco

    Being 40 days into my time here, two years feels like it won’t be long enough. 

    40 days mask free after wearing a mask for the past 3 years. I felt naked without it for awhile and I still giggle when I reach up to my face to take it down.

    A funny for you: A guy at the beach told me I dropped my toilet paper…The entire roll that I carry in my backpack fell out. Most public restrooms don’t have it. Learned that the hard way.

    Crossing the street is an adventure.

    HEY! The Mediterranean sea is spectacular, can’t wait to explore that more. Also said my first hello to the Atlantic sea. In fact, dad and I both took our first swim in the Atlantic Ocean.

    My dad stayed with me for 3 weeks in Morocco before completing his trip around the globe. Washington state to Japan, to Morocco, to Spain and back home again. So thankful he was able to start this chapter with me. We both lucked out on that. I love that I made this decision to leave home and how my parents too, get to leave home. 

    In a short month together my dad and I traveled places we never dreamed of, places we had never looked at on a map and we did it together. I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

    Spain
    Tangier
    Tangier
    Full moon

    Japan is where my life began.

    I am excited to see what unfolds in Morocco and how much more at home I will begin to feel living, as me. I am sure of something wondrous and beaming. 

    All the love and all the power from your now, Morocco Lovin’ Rachel.

    illies

  • Walkin’ on Sunshine ☀️

    Walkin’ on Sunshine ☀️

    Found a note that I started on my computer during my flight home!

    December 19th, 2021:

    Watching the sunrise above the clouds with the stars still sparkling. When these two meet, magic happens. The sun is rising while the moon is setting, the stars are shining while the clouds are changing colors, welcoming the new day. Like a birthday party for a brand new day!

    My first international flight in 3 years. The excitement, adventure and opportunities that this trip will bring are as great as the opportunity of a new day. Infinite.

    My covid experience was not knowing if I would hug my parents again. 

    In 2 hours I hit ground in Seattle, Washington.

    My trip started off in a new way. A great family, dear friends, brought me to the airport, parked and walked me in. They saw me off and boy did it feel like the sunrise meeting the moon set. Calm, peaceful and pure. To start my trip in such a way, I know that I have some great days ahead. 

    Familyships

    How could they not be, after all?

    … Back to present day:

    Last year, 2021, I was on a night dive, under water to bring in the the new year. 2021 consisted of 50+ dives around Japan, which is a lot for a girl who had never been under ocean water before. This year, 2022, I was on my way back to Japan, over the clouds. When I was younger I always heard *How you bring in the new year is how you spend the year. While I don’t put all my eggs in that basket, I know this year will be exciting and it is starting off with my head above the clouds.

    February:

    March! My favorite month. February was one for the books this year and I know March will be the same.

    I went to visit the place I use to be from…My first home away from home. Nishinomiya, Hyogo was a lot of firsts for me…I’d never left America and only visited a handful of states before getting my passport at 28 and moving here. I turned in my car keys, packed 3 suitcases and got a one way ticket to Japan for what I thought would be two years MAX. Here I am three and a half years later. My first: foreign country, train ride, chopstick use, sushi, raw fish, public bath, taxi ride and the gathering of my fragmented soul. It was also my first starting from the ground up building: familyships, friendships, a new language and career. It was my first time without: a car, an animal, gatorade, hot tamales, starbursts, pralines and cream ice cream…

    Living a life I never dreamed of, MAGIC.

    I am often smiling when I get on my bike because I am 31 years old, in a foreign country that I call home, RIDING my bike to the train station to go on a little adventure. COME ON now, does it get better than this?!

    I learned a more about living the past 3.5 years than I could have in a lifetime- if I didn’t take this opportunity. I feel that I have navigated and become better from each experience. I have learned about a new culture. The things I thought I would never understand are now normal. I think that is how I knew it was time to move on to the next adventure.

    This feeling is one I am familiar with…I’m not scared of where I’m going, I am lucky to have a life full of love to leave. Hard goodbyes are the best because where a difficult goodbye exists, love lives. Anywhere love lives, count me in.

    Most days I feel like I am walking on sunshine, sliding down rainbows. It is like I have these HAPPY glasses that I wear around. I find happiness in everything. Some may think I don’t see the realness in life but really, I find happy in that too. The other day my hands were so cold I could have broken my fingers off. I laughed. Stubbing my toe, hilarious. The hard stuff too, I may not always find happiness in it because let’s be real…there isn’t happiness in hurting someone you care about, a broken heart, the loss of a friend or the disappointment of a letdown. I do always recognize that the set back, is the set up. The cards are stacked in my favor and regardless of what it is, I will grow and become better, braver, stronger and wiser.

    Smile, it makes a difference. Laugh, it changes your life.

    Spring is here. Cherry blossoms are beginning. I use to feel restlessness in Spring. Now I feel hope, wonder and magic because I am at home with myself. What a wonderful place to be.

    I am 15 months hangover free and 30 pounds lighter. I was thinking this morning while getting ready for work, I have been living alone for 4 years, single for 5+. Sneaking up on 32 years old, I thought I would possibly be married by now and absolutely have children. Like I said…I am living a life that wasn’t even in my wildest dreams and it turns out, it’s perfect for me.

    There is always time to begin again.

    Love more, the world needs it.

    All the love and all the power.

    illies

    Rachel

  • Compilation: The first half of 2021

    Compilation: The first half of 2021

    Alright, alright alright! Here we go. I had 5 blogs started so I’m going to throw them altogether and see what I end up with. So-here we go. My first half of 2021 in review.

    January 2021:

    2021! Welcome. This year is off to an extra special start.

    Where were you when the new year struck?

    Me, I was under water on a night dive. I entered the water in the last hour of 2020 and I exited within the first hour of 2021!

    It was an exciting experience. In the past month I have gone from a 1 dive girl to double digits-17 dives deep! I am working on getting my advanced open water diving certificate.

    Under water is really a cool place to be. I was asked while on a dive trip with my favorite dive shop- OhanaWith in Numazu.

    Why did you start diving?

    The easy answer…I don’t know.

    The real answer…I wanted to do something I was scared of. That is why I started. I’m continuing it because I want to master something that I never thought I’d do. I want to master this new exciting hobby that is bringing joy, health and wealth into my life.

    I’m reflecting a bit on some of the heart work I’ve been doing. I’ve hosted some resentment within me because I felt invisible at times throughout my life. I thought others weren’t seeing me…turns out-I made myself invisible.

    This is a hard reality for me to stomach. Why would someone want to be invisible?

    Well-the answer is-at times it probably saved my life. There were times it was safe and easy to be invisible. It was something I held tight to unknowingly though and I’m ready to let it go.

    This winter I had a moment where I tried to go invisible. I felt like a hassle to those I was with and I felt unwanted. This in no way was what was happening but in my mind, it was. That is where I need to expand my heart, mind and soul. This only reflects myself, the way I feel about myself. I developed this victim mentality that I thought I let go of years ago. I remember being a teenager thinking “Why is this happening to me…” I now know that the things that I thought were happening to me…were not even about me. It was about them.

    February 2021:

    Lose yo’self.

    Not.

    March 2021

    There is only one way forward…and that is forward.

    I rented a motorcycle. What an ADVENTURE. During my 24 hour rental I had this…revelation. The only way forward, is…drumroll please……………….

    FORWARD

    Seems obvious. However, when we drive, we look back with the mirrors. On the motorcycle there were times when I was looking back, so concerned that I was an inconvience for the person behind me, I would pull over. The mirror is an important tool. Necessary for safety and more importantly, is what is ahead.

    I am…The person I want to be. Each day I strive to be better than the day before. My call of action-reflection, action, manifestation.

    April 2021

    Life is full of big decisions. Ones that change a moment, a day, and your entire life.

    Frightening or freeing depending on how you look at it.

    I’m days off of Zoloft which I’ve taken since I was 23 years old. Frightening or freeing depending on how I see it.

    May 2021

    Started Aikido and came while reading a book about it I came across the FAQ.

    Does Aikido make you “strong”?

    Answer: The development of spiritual strength will give you the unshakable confidence to meet any challenge that is true strength.

    June 2021

    The wisdom inside of you-the you inside of you that loves you more than anybody else in the world-That you doesn’t need to be found, they need to be uncovered. -Annie Grace words. Powerful.

    Too drunk to drive in the morning. THE NEXT MORNING. Has that ever happened to you?

    You ever laughed about that with friends the next morning?

    I wish I could say no-. However, at that time in my life I actually thought it was funny.

    Seems like ages ago. Well those mornings have been years ago. I took breaks from drinking here and there. Months at a time. Now, I’m currently on my 6th month of choosing not to drink-because I don’t want to. Who knew, paradise was right here in my own home. Saturnine mornings, 5 AM woken up by the sunlight, refreshed and ready to start the day. Headaches that are curable, anxiety that is non-existent. It took me awhile to make this a solid space of living and now that I have I often find myself so happy at myself because I am able to rise with the sun, headache free and happy.

    Not only headache free. I’m nearly 2 months Zoloft free.

    8 years of Zoloft. I thought I was taking a pill that kept me safe. Made me feel safe. Took care of my nightmares…I thought a pill was that magical. Little did I know, I hold so much more power within myself.

    I am that powerful.

    I was told I would likely be on Zoloft the rest of my life. Thankfully, I found myself in a safe situation, place and environment where I was able to give it a go. The withdrawals were notable. The chills, headaches, dizziness and nightmares came and have since went.

    

    One night…So notable I am going to share it. This was a week or so off of Zoloft and the nightmares that began all those years ago returned. I woke up and began to panic. I was crying, unable to calm myself and I was awake. I was looking around my room trying to convince myself that I was safe-because I was.

    This night, it took me 20 minutes with some help of my energy sensei to get back to center in a place where I was able to lay back down. When I began Zoloft it was because I had these same nightmares and I would stay up the entire night, scared out of my mind. This was the same nightmare but this time instead of 12 plus hours to get back in my body, right here right now, it took me 20 minutes. Growth.

    This first six months of 2021 has been a lot of heart, mind, soul growth and expansion. It’s been healthy. I’ve been practicing energy work, wim hof, ocean diving, aikido and added some new ink to my body too. One more dive course and I’m into the rhelm of professional divers. YES!

    Life is easy and life is good. Let it be.

    https://videopress.com/v/PAAiysIK?preloadContent=metadata

    Here’s to the next six months of magic.

    illies

    Rachel