沼津 – Just be

Rachel here! I had a goal of no hangovers for a year and that goal has come and gone. I have now been hangover free for 14 months! Badda bing, badda boom~! Who knew, paradise was right here in my own home, my own body, on Saturday mornings rising with the sun. It took me awhile to make this a solid space of living and now that I have I often find myself ecstatic and happy at myself that I am able to rise with the sun, headache free and happy.

Not only headache free. I’m nearly 10 months Zoloft free.

8 years of Zoloft. I thought I was taking a pill that kept me safe and took care of my nightmares…I thought a pill was that magical. Little did I know, I hold so much more power within myself.

Some new tattoos…it is funny that Japan is not a huge fan of tattoos but now I have gotten more than half of my tattoos here! Took me some tattoos and years to realize…my favorite tattoos are the ones that I got for myself. Go figure.

I am

The person I want to be. Each day I strive to be better than the day before. My call of action-reflection, action, manifestation.

Went camping and slept in a SOLO tent for the first time. Probably the scariest thing I have ever done in my life….There were only two of us at the campsite…My first time really camping and boy oh boy was it a huge growing point for me. I can do scary things. I can overcome fears…

When I was a child I thought that moments lasted forever. I thought the pain of skinning a knee, the trouble and guilt from stealing tic tacs and rolos from super one would last a life time. Now I am figuring out what kinds of moments I do want to keep alive and well and what I need to let go of.

Instead of thinking that the best has already happened, or the best is yet to happen...I know that the best is always happening.

I got to visit home for the first time since 2019. It was much needed visit. My covid experience shook me to the core and hugging my parents was what I wanted more than anything. So, December 2021 I got to hug them and meet my new niece and have a reunion with some people I love dearly. My trip back to Japan was delayed and those bonus days I got were my favorite part. This was a trip unlike any before. A new kind of way to be with the people I love most and it was perfect. The time together was everything I wanted and needed. Of course, I do look forward to the next time I get to hug my mama and dad. Those humans…some of the worlds greatest.

I often think about this blueprint of my life. Every SINGLE second makes a difference. It blows my mind when I really think about the butterfly effect [tiny changes in big systems can have complex results]. The tiny changes are what I think of as EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. Pressing snooze, changing the song, red lights, green lights, putting my left shoe on before the right, staying in the shower for one more second…These are the decisions of everyday. Not making a decision is actually making a decision. The system..is our life. These tiny (or big) moments lead us to right here, right now.

Not everyone believes this and that’s the great thing, this isn’t anyone’s blog, it’s mine.

I believe it and I choose to find magic and goodness in it. I am always right where I am suppose to be.

Japan is the place I really fell in love with myself for the first time.

My next step in life: Morocco. I love Japan and it has afforded me the ability to get to know the truest and best version of myself. I’ve created a happy, healthy, exciting and beautiful life here. Why I would leave something so wonderful, why not? This is only the first country I have been to outside of America and it has been top notch magical. The next will be too. The things I want in life: abundant happiness, health, wealth, love, growth, experiences…these are not a location. They are me. I will have these no matter where I am. Wherever I am, I am home.

So as Bon Jovi says, Welcome to wherever you are.

When I started this blog it was about everything in Japan that was new and exciting for me. The things that shocked me, shook me and excited me. Next-I’ll be writing about all of those magnificent things in a new place, Tangier, Morocco.

I got a Cricut machine and I have been creating some handmade magic. Class T-shirts, some for myself, friends, family. I have also taken up running and am now rescue diver certified! Yay for healthy, enjoyable habits and hobbies.

MY HAIR!!! Post covid my hair fell out my the clumps, for six months. It is growing back in now like a CHAMP. I call my new hairs, growers. They make me laugh.