Just be

Tag: safe

  • Autumn Orange Slices and Capri Suns

    Autumn Orange Slices and Capri Suns

    The fall this year has got me all up in my feelings.

    The cool breeze in the mornings in hand with the sunshine takes me back to the age of 7 or so.

    Getting up early when the grass has a bit of dew on it, sleep in my eyes and a box full of capri suns and squeeze-its ready for the end of the game celebration. 2-4-6-8 who do we appreciateeeeeeeee.

    The weekend soccer games. Each day on my way to work, that is what I’m thinking about. It is the perfect combination of sunshine and autumn air taking me back.

    Freezing in the morning and sweating by half time. Orange slices at half time and a smile from mom and dad.

    These weekend full of soccer games haven’t crossed my mind before.

    I love the way the air feels in the fall but right now, it’s not only the fall air. It feels different and it is taking me back to when I was a little girl.

    I think maybe that little girl is trying to catch up to me and where I’m at now.

    I miss waking up in the same house as my parents. I miss my mom saying “time to get up” each morning. I miss falling asleep to the sound of my moms voice.

    On weekends (he still would if I was there) my dad would come in my room by about 8am and say “RACHEL YOU’RE LATE FOR SCHOOL”. I’d still jump out of bed in a panic. Then I’d be up just to see what was in store from father. Likely a harbor freight run. He LOVES that place.

    I miss going to baskin robins every night of the summer for a scoop of ice cream with my dad, driving around listening to Steely Dan and Bye Bye Miss American Pie.

    When I was little I dreaded the car/boat/motorcycle/craft show. At about 20 I became interested in them and before I moved these shows had become an annual event.

    HappySad.

    Looking back is always hard. I wish it made me happy and maybe it will one day but right now, it’s hard, it hurts and it makes me sad. I also feel these emotions when looking too far into the future.

    Working on being right here, right now. Soaking up the autumn mornings and letting the sun help me to shine brighter.

    The brighter I shine, the brighter you can shine.

    Sparkle on friends.

    illies

    Rachel

  • Falling in Happy

    Falling in Happy

    Do you ever sit and think about how lucky you are? I do and I highly recommend it.

    I recently had this epiphany (with some outside help).

    Life is allowed to be easy.

    I would feel defensive when people would say things like:

    1. You’re so lucky
    2. Count your blessings
    3. If your life is easy, be grateful
    4. Things are easy for you

    Looking at those statements they are all positive. I am lucky, I do and should always count my happies, life is great and it is easy for me to do the things I want to do. This is all incredible. Yet, I would feel defensive. The automatic defense this sent me into has since dissipated all because of the realization that life is allowed to be easy.

    I felt bad before that my life is, well, what it is. Now, I’m wondering why everyone doesn’t go ahead, go out and GET HAPPY.

    My journey started about a year ago with the words, healthy, happy, free and safe. These were the words I wanted to bring into my life. I knew the only way to get healthy and bring feelings of happiness, freedom and safety into my life was from the inside, out. Started with 4 little words. A year later, I’m in a new city, starting another chapter of life where I am indeed, happy, healthy, safe and free.

    Now, I’ve got new goals I’m fostering and setting.

    I wish everyone would do this but I’m doing what I can do, I’m doing it.

    I’m settled in a new home, in a new city. I’ve been in Japan for just over two years and Numazu for 3 months. My new home is near beautiful beaches and mountains. My home is coming together. As you may know…my living space tends to be…childlike. I have changed in the past two years and my living space is now getting energized and upgraded to catch up to me, Rachel, in 2020. I’ve gotten rid of things that no longer fit, things I think i’ll get around to wearing, making, or fixing and the “stuff” that clutters my life. I look forward to going home to a place I previously (slightly) avoided.
    It is an exciting time in my life and I hope it is in yours too.

    Fall is here. I’m loving the weather.

    I’ve taken up snorkeling, bought a customized wetsuit and I am going to get my diving certificate! ADVENTURING!

    Welcoming the joy, new experiences and all the abundance life offers.

    Less is more.

    Go on, get happy.

    illies