Tag: wildcats

  • I look for You in a Strangers Smile

    I look for You in a Strangers Smile

    I’ve talked to the stars since I can remember… about my life, hopes, dreams, family and friends. I am still doing this.

    Each day I am on an adventure. I still cannot believe that. I’ve spent many extra hours sleeping this week  and I hate to do it when there is this new world below my feet (but I must need it).

    I’ve had many adventures. I have to start keeping a memo pad so that I can remember everything I want to tell you! (notes/letters are called memos here)

    I have since taken my FIRST train ride, EVER. My friend took me to Kobe by train, where I gave in and bought a camera (instead of a sewing machine). You might not know this…but I am using an Iphone 4 to communicate and it is about on its last leg. Did you know people still had Iphone 4s?! I need to invest in a newer form of communication next. In Kobe we spent the day walking around, seeing magnificent views, shops and best of all I had the company of a wonderful friend. You can tell I am a foreigner on the train because I am the only person that has to hold on! 🙂 Kei also took me to explore a seashell museum and that is where I had my first sighting of the ocean (which is mostly called the sea here). This person has been the best guide, showing me new places and exploring things for the first time herself. We have laughed together, prayed together and explored.

    After this adventure I spent a day at a coffee shop in the mall. I spent hours writing letters and addressing envelopes. Check your mail 🙂 I’m still walking/riding to get lost until I am confidently finding my way around. I’m getting better. I’ve got a map that I mark where I am and where I’ve been.

    A wonderful friend has taken me out to eat squid legs, raw fish and lots of other very new foods [FOR ME]. Noriko has also taken me to see my first movie here in Japan and ordered me my first beer! Thank you for being such an incredible human, Beautiful Angel 🙂

    Yuko is a beautiful woman that lives here in Japan. She has shown me around the mall, come over to my home and invited me into hers. I got to have dinner with Yuko and talk for hours with her. She has so much personality and is warm like a ray of sunshine. She is the most talented, kind, genuine person with a heart big enough for each person she meets.

    I’ve seen the ocean TWICE and touched it once. It was the warmest water I have ever felt. The ocean is just as refreshing for the soul as I remember. Sachiko told me she finds comfort in the ocean because it is the only body that connects all of us. I’m pretty sure she is my soul sister. I never know how people take when I tell them that…because being my soul sister might be kind of scary 🙂 My friends are at the ocean in the states right now…and this water connects us. That is kind of a magical thought. Sachiko too, is the kind of person you want to be around and she is always making me laugh. Pretty special person-with plenty of sparkle to spread.

    I have to stop going to see my friend at the pet store. He has been there since I arrived in Japan. I would be his mom in a heart beat-but I cannot have pets here…and I have my Sawyer back home.

     

    It makes me too happysad to see this pup at the store day in and day out. As a child I would go into the pet store and look at all the animals. I would stop in front of them and promise them that they would find a happy and loving home. I promised this little guy he would find a home.

    (UPDATE: Because this blog has taken me about a week to write….I went back 4 days later, today, and HE HAS FOUND A HOME)! More HAPPPPPPPPPYlittlebitsad

    The other night when I went to dinner a family got up and moved after I arrived…which made me think it was because of me.The other day as I sat at the mall watching people walk by…I felt this overwhelming sadness/loneliness. A person was going to sit by me…but a seat opened up and he choose to move to that seat. As I sat at the mall watching people walk by…I existed in a world where nobody knew me, loved me, and life at that moment would be the same for those people with or without me. I felt like that puppy at the pet store. Maybe that’s why I cannot stop visiting him and why it makes me so happy sad. When I am still watching people and life move…that is the only time I feel lonely. Not when I lay in bed tossing and turning, or eat meals alone…Some people find peace in being still, but that is where I find loneliness.

    I know, I am enough so I can allow myself to feel these brutal feelings because right now I am finding my place in a new world. I can be whoever I want here…but I choose me.

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    This bowling pin!!! I had to add it. At home there use you be this Shilo Inn sign right off of the second ave freeway exit. You could see it on the freeway from a ways back. That sign was how I knew I was almost home. It was my landmark since I was little. This is my landmark here. Once I’ve got eyes on this-I know I am almost home!! It’s my first and favorite landmark so far 🙂

    I’ve found the ocean…my next adventure will be to the mountains…or maybe Osaka? I guess the adventure is not knowing what my next step will be.

    Think about you all everyday. I made a wish/prayer at a Shrine for the first time. You write down your wish/prayer and hang it up. I love this and I think I will do it often. Be filled with happiness and health. IMG_0232_edited

    illie
  • 20 Seconds of Insane Courage

    20 Seconds of Insane Courage

    “You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you something great will come of it.”

    ― Benjamin Mee

    I believe in this with all my heart. I have experienced it, seen it and remind myself of this each day.

    My first week of work has come to an end. The past five working days I had “English Workshop”. This is when junior high students come to learn/practice English. There were 6 or so ALT’s and we each had a group of 4-6 students.
    These children were able to communicate using English and make huge progress in only five days! The bravery and courage these students showed was inspiring. I could have only dreamed of being that brave, that young.
    These students are learning a new language. I am trying to do the same. They were able to get up, give speeches, laugh, learn new words, and continue to try even when it was incredibly challenging. At this point in my life I am able to say words and feel silly and embarrassed without giving up…but at their age I wouldn’t have even tried. I am blown away by this. Insane courage.

     

    I have been befriended by wonderful people. People that are helping me grow and learn about myself and Japanese culture. Thelma is my friend I ran into at the store-who showed me how to get to the mall. She and her husband live here in Japan and have been accepting of me and willing to show me some new things such as my first public bath.
    This was such an experience…I really cannot find the words to explain it-but I will try. Thelma’s husband, Satoru took me (before we went in he checked to see if tattoos were okay). On the way there he explained a few manners and do and do not do’s. I called Thelma beforehand as well because I was nervous as ever. She explained to me what it would be like…but even listening I still didn’t understand. At home we have NOTHING like this…maybe a public pool…?
    Anyways. It is exactly what it’s called. A public bath. A place where people go and bathe. My best night of sleep was to follow. It is a cultural experience. I was so nervous…now I am thinking about what it might be like to take a foreigner, with tattoos, to an honorary place. I wonder who actually had the insane courage here…me or Satoru. Such accepting people who are willing to introduce me to things I never thought I would do.
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    Another friend came and spent a day with me…teaching me some phrases, helping me with the buses and just talking to me. She’s got a special place in my heart…She took me on my first bus ride here-WOOOHOOO! We are going to go on some more adventures soon-she’s a great guide with the most genuine heart.
    I have another friend here who I can call when I just want to talk or have a funny story to tell. Beautiful Angel I call her 🙂 She reminds me of my best friend-and I think she will be one of my greatest life long friends.
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    I am still walking around with a smile on my face. I love the feeling of seeing/experiencing things for the first time. Every single day I am doing things for the first time…like a child growing up. I am trying new foods, hearing new words, learning a new language and learning what is right and wrong.
    I found a little wooded area near me. It’s more like a wild jungle. It reminds me of my brothers. We use to play in the woods at our elementary school. They would LOVE these woods. The tree branches twist and turn, the roots have broken the ground and the stumps are huge. The bugs buzz loud, the dragon flies fly thick and the feral cats walk through these woods like it is their own jungle and they are lions/tigers.
    my brothers…
    Tom would explore these parts day or night. He would be the best exploration partner. I can’t wait to adventure with him here.
    Dave would LOVE the people and the culture. He would fit right in and he would try everything.
    Phil-he would enjoy the food. He wouldn’t even be nervous to order like I am 🙂
    The sunflowers remind me of my mama. I see her in every flower.
    The athletic complexes remind me of my dad. He never missed one of my games.
    The tiny pick up trucks-they remind me of you!
    I wish you could be here exploring with me. The world is so much bigger than I imagined and as my world gets bigger…I somehow become less lonely. Strange, isn’t it?
    These are just a few of the people who cross my heart each day here in Japan.
    I have the next week off from work. I was hoping to try and get to Okinawa but I think I better just get familiar with my surroundings and the city where I live. I hope to see the ocean soon and make it to the mountains.
    Tonight I have made it up until 11:50pm…all my family is getting up for work while I am turning in for the night. I think maybe I am FINALLY adjusting to the time change.
    Remember…20 seconds of embarrassing bravery.
    illie
    Until next time